How Can I Love You Again?
by kymo
Summary: Eriol has left Tomoyo without knowing what state she is in. Then one day returns. Tomoyo is hiding something from him. Will he have Tomoyo back? Will He find out?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well I've mad another story. Sorry for Cerulean Angel for borrowing the name of one of her original character ^_^! I was just really attracted by the name. Sabihin ko na lang sunod nito. ^_^*

Disclaimer: I would just like to tell you that I'm tired of these disclaimers. First of all I just borrowed all the characters here from CLAMP and my friend, Cerulean Angel. So please don't sue me. 

Tomoyo brush her long hair. It has been seven years since Eriol went to England and left her, with only one gift she couldn't take.

__

Flashback:

"No Eriol, can't leave me. Please…" Tomoyo begged Eriol tears falling from her eyes.

"I'm sorry Tomoyo, but I have to go. I have some business to do there."

"Some business more important than me?"

Eriol just sighed. He looked at her with pity.

Tomoyo looked up and looked at him directly in the eyes. 

"Don't look at me with pity Eriol. If you want to leave then go ahead. That just shows me your true feelings, you don't have to love me if you don't want to! But at least tell me what's this business is all about."

She can't stop herself from bursting out. She's mad at him for having needed to leave her. Tomoyo looked at him directly. __

"Answer me Eriol!"

Eriol sighed. He doesn't know what to tell Tomoyo. Actually he has no reason at all to go back to England. But why is he going back? 

"Because…"

Eriol looked down. 

"Because what?! You don't love me anymore?"

Eriol was struck with her words. Surely it wasn't true, but somehow true as well. Eriol fell silent for a moment. Then the call for his flight was called. He looked up at Tomoyo. Tomoyo was crying. With so much pain and misery. Tomoyo was looking at him with sorrow then ran away. Eriol looked until she was nowhere in sight.

End of Flashback

Tomoyo looked at herself in the mirror remembering those events very well. She has changed. She wasn't the sweet type anymore. She stand in her own feet, tough and strong at will. She has really changed over those years. But she wears a mask in front of all of the people. She's now a model and a singer. Her career has grown. She's living a different life now. And keeping a very big secret.

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

"Mom, are you awake yet?" a boy asked from the other side of the door.

"Yes honey, I'm awake. Come in."

The door opened and a boy about 7 years old, dark haired, wearing glasses came in.

"Are you going for a taping today?"

"Honey, mom is busy because of her job, okey?"

"But mom I'm stuck in the house without having any friends."

"Shinju, you don't need any friends. They'll leave you as soon as they know that they don't really like you."

"Where did you got those words mom?"

"I'm older than you remember?"

"Yeah."

They both giggled. Even though Tomoyo is not around very often in the house she and her son got along very well. All worries seem to go away when he's beside her.

"But I'll try to be back early today."

"Then we'll go to some places right?"

"Right. So behave yourself."

As Tomoyo was about to walk out of the room her cell phone rang from her bag so she stopped walking.

"Hello?" Tomoyo answered her phone

"Tomoyo…" Sakura said in the other line.

"What's the matter Sakura? Is there any problem?"

"Nothing much. But I've got good news for you."

"What is it?"

" Eriol will be coming back today."

Tomoyo was silenced. _Eriol? How could he be coming back? And why?_. 

"I was suppose to tell you yesterday but you were out. So we're going to pick him up at the airport at ten, will you be there?" Sakura asked bringing Tomoyo back in reality.

"I'm sorry Sakura. But I'll be going out with Shinju and I have some photo sessions and practicing to do for the up coming concert."

"Oh yeah, the concert, will you give us free passes? So we can watch you perform?"

Tomoyo was full of this. She doesn't want Eriol to be a topic. Well not that she really hates talking about him but knowing that he'll be coming back? Why does he need to?

"Look Sakura I'm not in the mood today so please…reconsider?"

"Oh. I'm sorry to bother you Tomoyo. I forgot you don't want to talk about him anymore. I was just so excited."

Tomoyo put down her cell phone.

"What an idiot." She muttered to herself.

"What was that mommy?" Shinju asked who was looking at her all the time she was talking on the phone.

" It was nothing honey. Do you want to come with me for my rehearsals?"

"Sure do!"

"Let's go!"

A/N: Did you like it? I know it's quite boring in this part and it's pretty long. But I'll try to make it more exciting on the next chapters. Please REVIEW!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well here's the next chapter. I hope I get a lot of review with this one.

Disclaimer: What if I say the characters are not mine? You wouldn't believe me would you?  
Just joking. Anyway these characters are not mine ok? And that's the truth.

Tomoyo just finished her concert. She was fixing herself suited for her to be just a normal looking lady. She had sent Shinju home first for he was looking very sleepy. Then someone knocked on the door of her dress room.

"Could it be someone with a special ticket to be allowed to talk to stars?"

She opened the door, and to her surprise there was Sakura, Syaoran and behind them…

__

"No it can't be. That blue haired guy."

Sakura spoke to her that these thoughts came out of her mind.

"Tomoyo, you've had a very hearty concert." Sakura said smiling

"Thank you Sakura, I really appreciate of you coming here."

She was trying to ignore Eriol and to make him feel out of place but Syaoran was stuck with him keeping him in touch in every topic they talk about.

"So Tomoyo, are you going to have some photo sessions tomorrow or any taping and stuff?"

"No Sakura, I'm going to spend the day tomorrow with Lance Garland."

"Lance what?" Syaoran asked in amazement.

"Lance Garland. He has been asking me for a date ever since, but I haven't got the time so I decided it to be tomorrow."

"I haven't heard of this man. Is he courting you?"

"Actually he is."

Eriol froze in her words as if he wanted to say something so much but just stop himself from saying it, because he knows she hates him. She hates him very much because he left her with no reasons at all.

"You should have told me."

"I'm sorry Sakura, but I was just too busy with my career, and you know what?"

"What?"

"With a producer just seeing us together, he said he'll make a movie with the both of us as the main characters."

"Really?"

Eriol cleared his throat. Thinking that he would not be out of place her just because he left for a very long time. Sakura remembered that Eriol was with them. She looked at him and back at Tomoyo.

"Tomoyo, we just came from the airport. We picked…"

"I know."

"Tomoyo, I just want the two of you to be friends again if not lovers."

"Idiot!"

All of them jumped as Tomoyo shouted at them standing up.

"It will never be the same again! NEVER!!!"

There was silence for five seconds then Tomoyo spoke up.

"I'm sorry for my temper but I think I still got business to do tomorrow with Mr. Lance Garland. So if you may excuse me please."

Tomoyo rushed out of the stadium followed by her three friends or maybe one friend.

After Tomoyo had gone Sakura looked at Eriol.

"You must have told her. You must have spoke to her, Eriol."

"I'm sorry but I don't have the strengt."

"We're helping you to get near her but the action still depends on how you do it."

As Tomoyo arrived at her house it began to rain very hard. After dressing up she laid on the bed. But before she closed her eyes someone entered the room. With the open lamp near the bed she knew it was Shinju.

"Shinju, honey. What' wrong?"

"I'm afraid of the thunder and lightning mommy."

"You want to stay here with me?"

"yes."

"Come here. Lay beside me."

Tomoyo hugged her son with so much love. In all those years he was the only one who was with her. Aside from her mom, Shinju was there to take away every pain and fear she feels inside. She felt hope when she knew she was bearing him inside her womb. But there's still something missing for him. He's life isn't complete yet, though she can see he's happy being only with one parent. Then she thought of …Eriol.

"Shinju…"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want a father?"

"If I have a father I'll love him dearly. But as I think now, I think …"

"What do you think?"

"I think I don't need a father."

"Why do you say so?"

"Grandma said you're always sad because daddy left you, if that's the kind of father I have I won't want any dad anymore. I don't want you sad and crying mommy."

"Don't worry Shinju, I won't cry and be sad anymore."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Let's got to sleep together mom."

"Yeah let's."

With arms around each other, they slept together.

Meanwhile, the rain fell on Eriol's windows where he look out to watch the rain. He was thinking of Tomoyo. How could he ever thought of leaving her? How stupid he was.

__

"Tomoyo, I promise I'll be the right one for you this time. This time I'm very sure of it."

He murmured in the darkness.

A/N: Like it? I know. I think it's quite boring for me. I don't know why I can't describe every episode with how I imagine it. I'm not good in describing that's why. Anyway, please review!!!


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Tomoyo woke up, she felt her bed bouncing. She looked at her side and saw Shinju jumping up and down her bed. 

"Good morning mommy. Did you have a great time last night?"

Tomoyo was still half asleep by then but the mentioning of " great time last night" reminded him of Eriol. 

"Wha…" Then she sat up, now fully awake.

Shinju stared smiling at her. 

"Good morning darling, did you sleep well last night?"

"I ask you first." He began to put on his fake pout

"Of course. I like it when you sleep with me every night."

"Really? Then maybe I should do it every night then."

Tomoyo stood up and entered the bathroom. Shinju stayed jumping up and down on the bed. After about thirty minutes Tomoyo came out in a bathrobe.

"Shinju, you've got to take a bath now."

"But mom, someone called here earlier."

"Who?" 

"I forgot to ask his name but he said he's going to meet you today and don't you forget."

"Maybe that's Mr. Lance Garland. He ask me for a date today."

"Without planning to tell me?"

"I have told you just now right?"

"But mom, I know Mr. Garland and that voice is not him. It was quite gentle and cold at the same time."

__

"Gentle and cold at the same time? That voice sounds familiar. Could if be…no it can't be him."

Shinju jumped at her from the bed making her fall on the soft carpet on the floor.

"Shinju, don't do that!"

"I want to go with you on your date."

"No Shinju, that's only for adults. Perhaps when you grow up you'll be taking me on a date instead of me taking you."

"All right, I'll just go back to my room."

"Much better."

After Tomoyo got dressed Lance Garland arrived. Tomoyo accepted his hand and went into the car. They went to a very good restaurant. After having lunch they decided to go to the park. They talked about anything they thought of but nothing personal. As they were laughing on the bench of the park, Tomoyo spotted Eriol with Nakuru. 

Tomoyo stared at the two of them. But while Nakuru was talking she noticed Tomoyo looking at them. He patted Eriol. Eriol turned to where she pointed and saw Tomoyo with the guy, that guy.

They were giggling. Tomoyo could feel that Eriol is looking at the two of them now. She tried her best to make him jealous, she became more sweet with Lance. Nakuru couldn't stand it anymore, she could see that Eriol wanted so much to go near and approach them. It wasn't different from Eriol, he wanted to grab her and take her away from any man. In a place that there would be nothing and no one could disturb them.

Eriol felt a strong hand grabbing his wrist. Nakuru was dragging her towards them. He tried to stop her but failed to do so. Nakuru stopped right in front of them. Lance was distracted. He was near of kissing Tomoyo, but with these two hanging around he couldn't do that of course. 

"Excuse me, but could you please give us time?" Lance told them giving them a different intent look.

"Sorry sir but we would like to talk to Miss Daidouji please." Nakuru said smiling.

"What?" Tomoyo looked at her. She knows what she's planning to do.

"Excuse me but I'm on a day off today. I don't have any business to do. So if you please…"

"Won't you like to talk to your future husband?"

Lance looked at Nakuru questioningly. 

"Excuse me but what do you mean by 'future husband'?"

"For your information, Miss Tomoyo Daidouji is destined to be married to Mr. Hiirigazawa."

Lance stood up on from the bench. These two is very irritating already and he can't stop himself. Tomoyo stood beside him. 

"Please repeat what you just said miss…" Lance eyed them angrily.

"I was just telling that Mr. Hiirigazawa will be Miss Daidouji's husband."

Lance is already very irritated. Tomoyo stopped him when he was about to punch Eriol straight on the face.

"Lance, don't do that."

"Why not?

"Because…"

"Tell me Tomoyo is what they are telling me true?"

Tomoyo looked down then looked back to Lance. She looked at Eriol and answered his question.

"No. What they are saying is all a lie. I don't even know who this guy and this girl is. So if you're going to punch him, punch him straight where he's going to be hurt. They're already getting to my nerves now that you mention it."

Tomoyo said all these things as fast as she can. Lance looked at her. 

"Are you sure you don't know them? They know your name."

"Of course not. If ever they know my name it's because I'm famous like you right? I'll be stopping you if I know them right? And I should have told about them to you."

"You're right. You don't know them. So what are you doing here?" Lance turn to ask Eriol and Nakuru again.

"Well…"

"See Lance darling, they don't know how to answer, that means they're lying." 

Eriol can't take it anymore. Tomoyo might hurt him as much as she wants but not to deny him in front of everybody. To tell every and each one of her friends that she doesn't know him.

"Excuse me Tomoyo, but you don't need to deny that you know me."

"Excuse me? But who are you to talk like that to a very popular person?" Lance eyed Eriol

"Oh, no one, I'm no one but the one who Tomoyo loved some years ago."

They felt silent for a moment. Tomoyo looked at Eriol with a how-dare-you-say-that-I-love-you look. Tomoyo walked a little nearer to Eriol and looked at him directly in the eye full of anger. Tomoyo raised her hand and slap him so hard that her hand marked his face.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THOSE THINGS YOU NEVER EVEN KNOW IS TRUE!!!"

Eriol was shocked. Surely she doesn't believe of what she thought before he left. He love her so much more that anyone or anything else. But as he looked at Tomoyo there were no sign of sorrow but anger. Tomoyo looked at him directly as if telling him that he was wrong. 

"Tomoyo, you do know these two right?" Lance ask her.

"I do. But I have forgotten them, well at least I tried."

"So they… he was the one who your mom told me about."

"Mom told you about a very good guy, a very attractive guy, but will cause whoever love him, so much pain that she'll never forget."

"I understand you Tomoyo. Maybe we'll leave that here for a while. I'll take you home"

"Better."

Tomoyo and Lance started to leave.

Eriol looked at them as Tomoyo rode step in his car. He can't believe she could do that. Well she has a reason but still not enough because behind those angry eyes he could see love trying to get through. 

Nakuru looked at him. 

"I knew it! You'll have the courage to tell her something, something you longed to tell her all those horrible years of being a prof in England. Eriol, you don't need to think about it. It's obvious she's the one for you, don't you understand?"

"I do. And now that I'm sure, I'll never let go of her again."

"That's the Spirit Eriol!"

A/N: finish! Third chapter! I don't know when I'll be finish with the whole story, how many chapters do you think?

Ten maybe or maybe not! Anyway please Review!!!


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Eriol woke up early. Everything is still silent at 6:00 in the morning. So he decided to walk around the town for a while. He passed by a Flower Shop and saw beautiful flowers that would fit 'her' beauty. He bought some and started to walk to nowhere. Then he stopped in an unusual place. He didn't know what to do, but as he was already there at 7:30 in the morning, too early, he decided to put his thoughts to action.

Tomoyo just woke up. She was about to go to breakfast with Shinju when a maid approached her and said there's someone who wants to see her. 

"Who might that be? So early in the morning?"

"Sorry Miss, but he didn't say his name. He just said that he wants to see you and talk to you."

Shinju got an idea of what the maid was talking about.

"Maybe that's Lance Garland. The one who wants to date mommy. Can it be?"

"Shinju, we just talk last night and I'm sure he won't come here this early in the morning."

"Well there's still a possibility."

"Anyway, I'll be there. Thank you."

The maid then bowed her head and walked away.

Tomoyo went to the living room where they accept their guest, Shinju in her right side holding her hand. She was wondering who this person might be, but all that thoughts jump out of her head when she saw the blue haired man standing to meet her. 

They were only steps away. Shinju looked from Eriol to Tomoyo. He was quite confused on who this man is. Then Tomoyo let go of his hand telling him that he must go back to his room and have his breakfast there.

"Shinju, go to your room and tell the maids to bring your breakfast there."

"But mom, you said we're going to have breakfast together."

"I have said what I have said and I won't take it back, Shinju! Now Go!"

Shinju got the idea that his mom is angry. So he ran out of the room.

Tomoyo looked at Eriol after making sure that Shinju had already gone and not peaking in any corner. Tomoyo's eyes fell on the flower on Eriol's hand.

"So, what are you here for this early Mr. Hiirigazawa?"

"I…I brought you these flowers. Please accept them Tomoyo."

Eriol handed Tomoyo the flower he has been holding. Tomoyo accepted the flowers and laid it on the table.

"Is that all you've come here for? Well you may leave now if you don't have any reason of coming here and disturbing me."

"Tomoyo, I would like to apologize about yesterday. And would like to talk to you in person where nothing and no one could disturb us."

"What do you mean Mr. Hiirigazawa?"

"I want to go out with you to make things even clearer. And I will schedule the date. If you're not going to approve on it well you have to promise me that you're going to accept me anytime in this house."

"Who are you to tell me these things in my own house?"

"I'm Eriol Hiirigazawa as you say."

"You don't have the right."

Tomoyo said hands on her hips. Her eyes starting to get smaller in irritation

"And I have another question…"

"Maybe you could at least save that question for the so called 'private conversation' "

"I guess. But if I were you I won't throw that flowers away."

"You bastard!!! How dare you show your face to me you squirt!"

"You stop yourself before I get to sleep in this house. Remember I'm doing this for our future."

"What do you mean future? We don't have any future Eriol! I'm going to marry Lance Garland and you're not going to stop me."

Eriol turn around to face the door. 

"I don't care whoever you marry, Tomoyo. All I care about is that, you would understand everything and to have no anger in me."

"Well, if you're trying to say sorry for everything you've done, it's too late Eriol. What you have done has left a mark. Each gives sorrow and happiness but the sorrow over laps everything. And that won't be taken away. If that's what you are trying to do."

"I know that won't change, but I can explain it somehow and maybe by miracle it'll change."

"Hmm! You hope too much Eriol."

"Ja ne!"

Eriol left without another word.

Tomoyo stared at the door, where he had gone, for several minutes. Then Shinju approach her.

"Mommy?"

"Shinju! Have you eaten your breakfast?"

"I have. But are you ok mom?"

"Of course I am dear."

That day Tomoyo has nothing to think about. She always got Eriol on her mind. 

__

"Whatever he is planning to do it won't work on me. I swear! That brat will pay for every pain he has given me. But how can I do that? What if Shinju finds out that he's his father. And what if He finds out that he has a son? What am I to do?"

A/N: What will I do?! Hehehe! Whatever comes in the next chapter, I'll think it up!

Will I let Eriol's plan work? Oh and yes, please review!!!


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